New Pet Sciences

From spiderdan.
Alright. Now. As you know, we here at New Pet Sciences, LLC do not belive in the euthanization of animals. As you might expect, this presents certain, shall we say, uncomfortable, situations for families, like yourselves, when the family pet has matured much past it's prime. So. I'd like to re-introduce you to your beloved Bucky. Say 'hi', Bucky. That's right. Ok, oh, don't cry sir, he's really just as loving and friendly as he's always been, just in a new package is all, and yes, he remembers you too. So as I was saying.. these are the tools that will be new to you. Gone are the peanut-butter kong and the watering dish, and gone are the days of amassing empty grocery sacks. Bucky no longer needs snacks or walkies. Now are the days of magneto-dynamic interactimazation. Instead of tossing a stick and yelling 'fetch', you'll apply this torque-enducer to the ratcheted harmonitigator, and WHOAH EASY THERE BUCKY! As you can see, he's quite terribly happy. In layman's terms, we've built a new box for Bucky's brain, and he'll now quite happily outlive you all. Any questions? Right then! Off you go, and thanks for attending "Thinking Inside the Box; Your New Old Friend and You".